Writer’s Block

Writer’s block. You can’t have one if writing is a full time job, if you’re getting paid per hour and you only have 1.5-hour breaks in a day. It’s not an employee benefit. You can’t take a leave from work because you’re having one. Well, maybe. But better think up a better excuse. Your leave application can’t look like this:

Leave Application

No. of day/s: 1

Inclusive dates: January 25, 2020

Reason: Writer’s block

So what do you do when all of a sudden a blank page stares at you like a gun? “Write something or I’ll shoot.” You try a letter on your keyboard. Tak. Then a few more. Tak, tak, tak, tak! You squeeze out words. It feels like extracting a blackhead from a stubborn crater on your face. Nothing comes out except blood.

I admire those who can close their eyes for a minute, or maybe an hour, and then come back refreshed and ready to take the blank page. Kill that blinking cursor. Fill this ebb with words. The page is the world under their feet and their brains are free. At least, free-er than mine. I envy those who have words to say even if their hearts are far away.

So what do I do? If you think that there’s a piece of advise about to unfold somewhere in the blocks of text below, there will be none. How I wrestle with it is irrelevant. It didn’t work. At least not for my line of work. And that is why I have decided to leave it as swiftly as I can. Although I cannot do so as swiftly as I wish.

I started writing blogs when I graduated from university. I didn’t write paragraphs. I wrote stanzas. I wrote 70-word entries. On Friendster Blog.

Then the texts got longer. Not because I wanted them to but because it was what everyone was doing. I never planned on writing for a living. But now, I couldn’t get out.

There were days when it felt right. And there are days like today when the loudest voice in my ear says, “Stop.” Then I stop dead in my tracks. I pull out the flashlight and look around to see who’s out there. No one. Just me and this huge slab of concrete in front of me that no one else sees.

Photo by Velizar Ivanov on Unsplash

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