It is both good for desire to be kept waiting and for it to be fulfilled. Waiting causes fire to burn brighter and fill deeper. It enlarges longing and exposes the soul’s capacity to dream, and keep dreaming. It tests the spirit and purifies the soul. Fulfillment is God’s ultimate plan and it will satisfy and fill, saturate and soak up, until you drip with laughter and love. He will not fail to satisfy even longings undiscovered by your heart.
When to bring the waiting to an end, God knows perfectly the time. I will never trade these years of pain and joy in waiting, of longing and finding intimacy, of swift encounters with Jesus, I will not trade it for anything. But I will gladly leave it to embrace him when God finally sends him here.
When God says, “It is time,” I believe it is. And I love Him for showing me that His Time is beautiful. Even now, I know I am entangled in His Wisdom. At times I yield, at times I wrestle. But every time, I am more loved. In waiting and in fulfillment, I am loved best by God.
And think that nights are fair
Fairer than day
Because the light now bleak is gentle
Rest my eyes from waiting for the dream’s epiphany
And the breeze it soothes
The soul that’s waiting for the strong embrace
The silence makes it calm
The questions why it’s night until you come this way
The anatomy of longing is that
you are compelled to liken it to many things
that do not come close to what it really is
to how it really feels
because that is precisely what it is
You would liken it to the desire for a drop of water
by a dry and thirsty tongue
You would liken it to the restlessness
after smelling a wisp of his fragrance
only to lose it to the swift breeze
You would liken it to things you cannot touch
things you cannot grasp
things you cannot catch
things you cannot put into words
The anatomy of longing is that
it will always be embracing
but never consummating
You will never run out of things to liken it to
because the more you long
the more you tremble, at distance,
even if it is as close as cheek to cheek
and more so, if parted by time and boundaries unknown
Like I said earlier, this song is “dedicated to all my single friends/readers and all those who are no longer single after waiting long for “The One.” This is also for those who are hoping to learn to trust God when it comes to ‘love.’” I changed the title too. 🙂
My co-teacher’s son was left to Ms. Lyn’s and my care ‘coz it was her level’s Special Day. I picked Josef up from the Kinder classroom and brought him to our room for lunch. The utility guy was probably out stranded in the heavy rain buying his chicken and rice. Josef was telling me about having chicken and rice for lunch and I could tell he was looking forward to it. Thirty minutes had passed and still there was no sign of the chicken and rice. So, the conversation in our classroom went this way…
Ms. Lyn: Teacher Yen, please tell Josef to eat now.
T. Yen: Oh, his chicken and rice are here now?
Ms. Lyn: No, but I saved half of my egg so he can have it for lunch.
T. Yen goes to Josef who’s reading a book by the mat.
T. Yen: Josef, please eat now. Ms. Lyn left some egg for you.
Josef: No, I don’t want to eat. I’ll wait for my chicken and rice.
T. Yen: Do you have a class at 1pm? What if your chicken gets here at 1pm?
Josef doesn’t answer Teacher. He just goes on to read the book. I surmised that he was dead-set on waiting for his chicken, so I let him be. It was probably ten to fifteen minutes after that exchange that the utility guy arrived and brought him his meal. Josef was a happy camper now and Teacher Yen learned a good, very visual, in-my-face lesson about waiting and faith.
Lesson: As I saw him eating his chicken (I had to cut it in strips for him and get him to sit down), God spoke to me so clearly about waiting for what He promised to me. In Josef’s case, his mom had promised him chicken and rice. He was not about to be sidetracked by some half egg and half rice. He waited for what his mom had promised even if it was raining so hard. He didn’t even think the heavy rain could stop the guy from bringing his chicken. hahaha what faith!
God then told me to wait for what He had promised me and my heart’s desire instead of settling for what’s available. Case in point here is that my partner teacher wanted to set me up with a guy from the US who’ll be arriving here on the 18th. I was having second thoughts about waiting (and i mean really waiting) for the one whom my heart really desires and try to meet up with this guy even if my Mom had already told me “No.”
But seeing the chicken and the rice and the little boy eating it was like God speaking to me in loud volumes. The meal got here just in time (it wasn’t even late) IN SPITE OF THE SUPERDUPER HEAVY RAIN. Okay, Lord, I get it.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
Most of us perceive miracle as something that happens in an instant! Like a man without limbs suddenly growing arms and legs. Or a dead girl raised back to life. Or perhaps, untraceable money deposited into our bank account right on time for an great financial need. It can also be instant deliverance from addiction to drugs. Or sudden release from a spirit of depression. These are miracles indeed. And we long to see more of them in our lives.
There was once a young teenage girl who loved to dream. She did not imagine living in a castle on clouds but she dared to consider the possibility of being lucky enough to one day enter into a place where her wildest and most extravagant awesome dream-come-true would be as real as fingers could touch. But she lived under gloomy clouds of self-rejection and self-doubt. These were the great hindrances to her ambition. What could possibly take her from that state of bondage into a place where dreams come true? At that time she did not have an idea but she hoped that such a bondage breaker and dream giver does exist. Continue reading “water into wine”→