Then *poof* it became koko crunch!
That was how instant the figment of my imagination came into being. Oh no, I didn’t create my very own Frankenstein. Like most girls out there, and contrary to how people probably perceive me because of the simple way I dress up, I also do dream of buying a nice, stylish, “respectable” bag at times. Yesterday, was that one of those times. I’ve thought about it for quite a while because my most used bag is uhm… let me post a photo here:
As you can see, it’s intestines are coming out and as much as I’m so used to carrying it around that I hardly notice how terrible this might look to other people, I suddenly realized how much of a terrible “PR” it is to be carrying a literal peasant’s tote like this. Especially that I do a little bit of supervisory work now. And I’m starting to interact with people from the fashion industry as a client, ergo, the need to look a bit respectable I guess? (Note: I was raised by my mom to be rebellious and not care about what people think about what I’m wearing as long as it’s not ‘sinful’ but I believe ‘not having to care’ has it’s proper place in life, right?)
So yeah, I’ve thought about getting a new bag months back but it was just yesterday that it just dawned on me that I really need to get a decent and moderately stylish bag. I was actually thinking of going to a respectable salon and the thought led to, “What will the people in the salon think when they see my bag? Maybe they’ll wonder if I can pay for my bill or something. I might not get treated well.” Hahaha. I know it’s crazy but that was where it all came together. I said to God, “God, I think it would be really nice if I could get a good bag without having to spend too much. I know it’s not impossible. Thought maybe I’d just let You know it’s something that’s in my heart right now.” I prayed something like that although not that formal. lol.
The next day, as we came out of the cinema where we always have our Sunday worship, my dad said that my mom had rushed to Mango because there was a really neat sale and stocks are fast getting sold out. Hmmm… We went there to pick her up and my dad was like, “You want to get a bag too?” No, I didn’t ask for it! He asked first. It didn’t even cross my mind that I will buy a bag there!
The word during our worship service that morning was about “being encouraged” in God’s presence. Isaiah 40:31, “They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength…” The word renew here actually has a “change” and “pick up” element to it. According to Matthew Henry Commentary, “They shall change their strength.” And when we do, we find strength from a source that is better than our limited and humanistic source.
This is not the first time that God gave me something I can afford to buy. Last year, I prayed for an affordable denim skirt, lo and behold, I found one exactly my style and size at a bazaar, for Php 150 (<US$ 4). And years before that, I was praying for a pair of brown sunglasses (because it’s rare for me to find affordable frames that look good on my face). I saw a pair of Liz Claiborne’s left for good by its owner because it was missing a screw. (Had it repaired for a really cheap cost.)
What does this have to do with “waiting on God”? Well, nowadays it has become harder to differentiate NEEDS from LUSTS. Sometimes we feel like we need an iPhone but actually we just need a phone, any phone. Sometimes we feel we need an expensive bag but we really just need any durable bag! Sometimes we feel like money slips away so quickly because we’re spending to satisfy our lusts and not so much our needs. End result? We’re left craving for more “stuff” and our wallets get drained and there’s that sense of panic that we have to work harder because we’re not earning enough money to buy us our “NEEDS.” The truth? We’ve fallen into a trap, a cycle of covetousness, where our lusts push us into an ungodly dependence on our ABILITY TO SPEND the contents of our wallet to its dregs. And our ability to work harder to have more moolah to spend. And it’s a vicious cycle of discontent and guilt. I don’t want to fall into that. I want to be at peace with myself, and at peace with God. I want to depend on God for my needs and I want to spend for things that will leave me peaceful and not guilty. And I want to have cash in my bank when God starts to tell me the actual things I really do NEED to spend for! What if the money I’ve earned was really meant for my trip to Madrid, right? Well, just maybe, but that’s why we need to ask God first, most of the time. (When I’m buying lunch, of course I don’t ask Him if or what I should eat! Duh!)
So wait on God. Believe that He always provides. Trade your financial capacity for His financial stability, eherm, or more like financial overflow. When we trade our strength for His, when we wait for His will to unfold, when we don’t take matters into our own hands, He comes and gives us A BETTER SOURCE, and that is His riches, and goodness, and yes, He adds no sorrow to it. 😉 (Proverbs 10:22)
Wait on Him. Then *poof* without even uttering a serious prayer, it becomes koko crunch! A desire of the heart turns into a feast for the soul, because it’s God’s perfect provision. I love koko crunch, by the way. It must be obvious by now.