Mornings


It’s 2:00 am and why am I awake? Oh yes, my mom woke me up while I was in the middle of a dream that was just about to reach the best part: me hitting the beach waters. In the dream, I had been busy attending to important matters that I didn’t even get to glance at the horizon. When finally I was about to lift my eyes and take in the view, my perspective began to blur and fade, I struggled mildly at the realization that I had only been dreaming and it was about to dissipate, and this until I opened my eyes with a view of my mom’s face darkened by the shadows in my room. It’s 11:30 pm. I’m back in the city and I need to drink my meds. If this were a novel, I’d be screaming, “Noooooo….”

An hour and a half later, I’m here still. Just like yesterday. Only, yesterday was 3:00 am. I thought of browsing you through yesterday’s Instagram posts.

So my mom wakes me up Sunday morn around 7:30 am. (I have to discourage her from this before it becomes a habit!) She leaves then she returns later and hands me this £20 bill, a small but encouraging love gift from a friend. Believe me I was wasted when I woke up. That purple sheet, was to me, a spark of hope. Oh God had not forgotten me. How could He, right? But we sometimes have those thoughts. Just days ago, I had prayed for God to encourage me with financial provision for my trip to Dublin, He answered real fast again.

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Then I get up and say hello to my now becoming favorite window. (it used to be the other one. I have two.) Outside are moringga leaves hustling in the breeze. I thought I’d rotate the photo 180 degrees. Hurray for Instagram rotate feature. Hurray for the breeze. Hurray for the green leaves. And hurray for the sunshine.
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Then I got ready for church, put on a red dress, and hoped for the best. I was so glad my eye bags were no longer swollen. They were, at 3:00 am before I took a nap before waking up again. You see, even when your eyes puff up from crying and your under eyes swell from lack of sleep, God finds ways to cheer you up. So thank God for friends, for the courage to ask for prayer, and the courage to love even when it hurts. I know it’s coming. Just like the £s, the sunshine, breeze, and the red dress.
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