I Won’t Wait


This was quoted by Kara from her journal (check out her blog) in her winning entry to Pursuit of Everything blog’s  Once In A Lifetime Giveaway. I find it inspiring. I hope you find inspiration from it too. And in case you’re wondering what the “giveaway” is, it’s a round trip ticket to any destination on the globe.

(Italics mine.)

“I want to sit in the hot sun at a cafe along a dirt road, sipping beer from a sweating bottle and laughing with friends who don’t speak English. I want to feel sweat drip down my forehead and onto my cheek and not worry about whether my make-up is ruined. I want it to trail down my neck and disappear into the cotton of my white shirt. I want to watch as children run down that dusty street chasing a ball towards an unknown goal. I want to sit back and smile, not because of the number of children I have but because of the number of children I have helped.

*
I want to accomplish something greater than myself, my happiness or my contentment. I want to survive with what I am given and give as a means of survival. I want to live outside of what I know and engage the world, drink it up– every last drop. I want to be grasped by it, allow it to reveal itself to me, submit myself to its will. Not like a cult member who confuses a thing and contorts it into a god. I won’t formulate an equation that solves the longing and loneliness, or wander the streets wondering when I’ll meet someone who sees the wonderful being that is in me. And I won’t swoon over guys who tell me I’m beautiful while they are looking at my breasts. The promise of love is not a promise at all, and even when I think I’ve found it, it feels more like I am on lay away and my purchaser forgot to come back and make the final payment. No, I won’t wait for love before I start living my life.
*

Or success. I won’t wait until I’ve written that book or become independently wealthy. I won’t wait until my lotto numbers match the ones on the television screen or my house appreciates so much that I have no choice but to retire. I won’t wait until I’m 50 and paying for my children to live out the dreams I once had. I won’t wait until it’s comfortable or easy. No, I won’t wait for success before I start living my life.
*

Or knowledge. I won’t wait until I’ve learned the language fluently or grasped every intricacy of the culture. I won’t master any game of Trivial Pursuit or know all the answers when questioned. I won’t pridefully assume that I know everything or even pretend to know a decent fraction of the world’s knowledge. I’ll pursue life and gain knowledge, and more importantly, wisdom. No, I won’t wait for wisdom before I start living my life.
*

I’ll find my cafe and watch those children run along foreign roads, grateful for a meal at the end of the day, happy to have a diversion from life’s heartaches, running towards something that doesn’t make sense but satisfies, content to know that the goal of love and success and wisdom does in fact exist and even though no one is guarding it, scoring is satisfying nonetheless.”

If you want to follow Kara’s adventure, you can check out her blog for updates: prinkbrickroad.wordpress.com

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4 thoughts on “I Won’t Wait

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