What a great date to suddenly think of writing about how I could have missed my appointment with Destiny exactly nine months ago on July 19, 2011. But I didn’t miss it! And I am thankful that God knew exactly how to keep me in His will, no matter how unpleasant it felt at that time.
Before I landed this job with a first-class college dormitory in front a top-ranking university in our nation’s capital, to many, I looked like one who was drifting in an ocean of potential and on a boat tossed by the waves of unemployment, erratic volunteer stints and meagre-paying freelance intermissions. For four years, I embraced my wilderness and encouraged myself to not think of what others are saying, but rather, focus on the steadiness of God’s word that kept reminding, JUST STAY PUT.
Then after those four years, my now current employer called up requesting me to reconsider continuing the application process I had chosen to discontinue a year ago. Although the job sounded very much like my dream job, something in my heart had shuddered at the thought of working for the company that time. So I had backed out.
And though it was practically the same fist knocking at my door one year hence, I knew I had to ask God’s counsel one more time. I had a lot of reservations about the company and the work schedule. I was about to learn that I would be offered a salary much lower than my previous job’s. I was to render more (and later) work hours. I would be exhorted to give more of my time even outside my regular shift, and with that, to give it willingly and cheerfully despite the fact that it is to be used as a gauge for my performance appraisals (which made ‘giving willingly’ sound insanely ironic). I was also about to learn to submerge myself into a totally different culture where my knowledge and experience would have to fall face flat on the floor if only to consider others better than myself despite the fact that every cell in my body would be screaming, “This company-cum-marketplace-church should definitely know better than this!”
But yes, before all these came to my senses, I had asked God, “I don’t want this job, but if you want it for me, then change my heart.”
Maybe many would know better but I was surprised to discover one day, out of the blue, my heart had changed. I just knew suddenly that this was God’s will. And so when I saw the job offer, restraining my innards from convulsing, and using my left hand to coerce my right hand to take the pen, I signed the contract with blood and tears. I swallowed hard and on my way home (3 hrs ride), I felt the lump on my throat gradually descending. It took some time before the lump disappeared. Perhaps, three months.
What job could be so terrible to render such a description? Well, it was 90% my dream job, minus the 10% which God had ordained to challenge my character eye to eye.
But the job was perfect, actually. It was a client oriented job that allowed me to organize mini events, speak with our tenants’ parents, interact with college kids, minister to those in need, as well as pioneer a ministry inside a dormitory that is ripe for harvest.
But God in His love and mercy took 10% of the perfect and gave me exactly what I need — a series of limitations and imperfections that exposed my pride and self-centeredness. It was breaking time, my first few months. And I struggled with sickness too, due to the immense physical and mental shock I received from working full time plus giving the extra hours, and attending to two other ministries outside work, both in leadership capacity and absolute cluelessness how to direct without falling apart.
And fall apart, I did. But God also took me up. He reminded me that this season was bigger than any of the present limitations I am seeing, even my physical and character limits. And this was what He reminded me:
11 years ago, I started praying for the university in front of my workplace asking for God to “do something big.”
a few years after that, as an alumnus, I started a small prayer group that intercedes inside the campus and had received God’s word that He is coming like the rain.
a bit later after that, I had called up my current workplace to ask if they have a prayer room for rent. And upon realizing that I do not have money to pay them to rent out a room for prayer, I had prayed that God would either grant me favor from the owners or bosses in there or that he would put me in a position of influence where I can use a facility for prayer. And now, I am exactly in that position, the facilities in our dormitory are at my disposal if I need to use any of them for my events.
also, God reminded me that I have asked God how can I influence the students in the campus when I am no longer a student. for 10 years I have kept this burden for this university in my heart and prayers. Now, I work with its students and am surrounded by tenants, 80% of whom are from the said university.
And there are many other signs and confirmations. But they are difficult to embrace with love when you are struggling with issues that challenge your willingness to die to yourself. But these proofs pushed me onwards, as signs of God’s sovereignty and destiny unfolding before my very eyes.
After a season of breaking, I found myself finally becoming more comfortable wearing shoes that love rather than judge, and a head that submits rather that boasts. I learned to count my blessings and there are a lot! There are still a lot of times of difficulty but we are just about to go full force into a battle, we are pioneering for a long-awaited plan in God’s heart, war is only to be expected.
Today, together with some of our Christian tenants, we have decided to enter a season of fasting and prayer for our first project this coming first semester of the school year. We are only beginning and yet on my part it already felt like a lot of work had been done just to get to this “starting” point. A lot of plowing and dying and sacrificing. A lot of expanding our minds and belief systems. A lot of changing paradigms and mind-blowing encounters, heart-breaking discoveries, sobering moments of truth and desperate cries to Jesus in whom I am learning the importance of tightly clinging to.
It has been nine months. Today, we had our first meeting for our first “very organized” pilot activity aimed towards plucking a harvest of Jesus-lovers-to-be. Many times, I would stop and ask God, what the heck am I supposed to do next. I don’t really have it figured out, actually. But if God put me here, he had it all way in advance. I’m simply sailing wherever his compass leads me. Do I hear an Amen?
We would appreciate it if you could join us in prayer as we fast until first week of June. Ministry in this campus is very young and there not many a visible Christian groups inside. But my dream is that our workplace could host a house of prayer for the campuses in our vicinity to begin to rend the heavens open for power evangelism to begin to thrive and mark the culture of ministry work in the area. 🙂