Then came another long journey to today.
It would take so many blog posts to give a full account of how it happened. But looking back, here are truths I learned that had broken the curse of loneliness and depression, a restless heart and an unsatisfied soul…
1. Satisfaction comes directly from God and a revelation of God’s love for me, not from the fulfillment of dreams.
I had sought to be fulfilled by something God was about to do in the future, and when it didn’t come soon, my world slowly fell apart. After I was prayed for, God showed me that I was pursuing a dream instead of pursuing Him. And so yes, one can be pursuing God’s dream and yet not be pursuing God wholeheartedly. To NOT pursue God wholeheartedly only leads to disappointment because none of the OTHER things will ever satisfy. Ever!
2. In order to be satisfied, one has to partake (or eat).
Prayer cannot stand alone. Neither does Worship, or reading the Bible. Fellowship with other Christians cannot make up for lack of prayer or lack of progressive revelation about God’s love.
I learned this the hard way. I need so much love and I must learn how to stay sustained in God’s love. Every single day, even every single minute, I need Jesus to reveal Himself to me. If this does not happen, I disintegrate. Honestly, I just begin to fall apart again. I cannot survive a single day without partaking of His love. And that only happens when we pray more, seek more, read the Bible more, talk about him more, worship more.
3. More of God does not mean less of life
We all have this mindset that when we avoid sin, or even just abstain from worldly things that are not even sinful, that we are giving up stuff fun and life and things that make us come alive. This is such a foul lie! I used to feel that way too but just last week, God opened my eyes. He showed me that Jesus is so alive that He wants us to do the things that make us come alive. God enjoys it when we do crazy things that express who we really are. In fact, He made us to do just that, to do the things that make our blood rush through our veins 20x faster than usual. Uh-oh, high blood pressure? Haha!
God is not trying to rid us of life-giving activities. He wants to rid us of SIN so that there will be no hindrance for our enjoyment of these exciting things that God has made available for us. He is cleansing us of LUST because lust only leads to lethargy and unfulfilled desires. But when our passageways are cleared of clutter and guilt and filth, we begin to LOVE life and do things out of love! And love is the most awesome drug! It has no side effects, only overflowing benefits.