I had dreamed. And I had dreamed real big. God had said “yes” to my dream and I took His word for it. For all it’s worth, which I did not really understand yet. Even until now. Because God had allowed me to dream, I made it my license to pursue that dream with His help. God was going to fulfill my dream because it was also His. I demanded that God fulfill it but the fulfillment tarried. And all I got were disappointments. It’s not working out like I thought it should.
When I came back from Cebu, I went straight to a church meeting where our pastor prayed for each one of us to receive freedom. My heart was so heavy and I was weeping with a really painful heart. I could not comprehend the intense emptiness in my heart. It was like no matter how hard I work or pray or pursue God, there is still that place which always remains dry and unsatisfied. Like a quarantined spot, which never gets touched by rain. I was blessed in different ways but that one spot remained dry. The sense of hope being deferred for so long was tearing me to pieces.
While I was being prayed for, the Holy Spirit came upon me mightily and I felt something burst. Like the cause of my derailed state broke apart and exposed what was wrong. Then I knew again that God loved me and that there was hope for me. The answer to my situation came from a moment I had not expected it to come from.
Then I started to realize so many things.
To be continued