Desperation


I literally gasped for breath as if my body were demonstrating the state of of my spirit. I need Him and I can’t seem to lay hold of enough. I could no longer breathe through my nostrils. I had to open my mouth and gasp for air. My heart wanted to jump out of my throat. I took quick heavy breaths as if my lungs were competing for air. As if air would run out. As if my heart would faint from suffocation. I felt an impending headache. My forehead was all wrinkled. My face was like that of a mother’s, wailing after losing her child.

I have to need Him. I need you to need Him. To want Him for myself is one thing. But my spirit is not separate from the others.’ I will never be satisfied until I find myself in the midst of a Body that groans for His presence and His return. My insides are wired to theirs, to yours. I am weeping for hunger, for food, for communion, for connection. I am weeping with a heart that longs for a generation that would gasp for His presence as if it were the only thing that would keep them alive.

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