I am my Beloved’s and He is mine.

Have you ever asked someone you treasure with your life to TRUST you with his?

Maybe… you are teaching your little niece how to float on water. You tell her to lie back and trust that your hand will not let her sink. Maybe… you are setting up your best friend on a blind date with the cutest guy in town. You wanted it to be a surprise and so you tell her to trust you with her life. Haha. Or maybe your little brother wants to buy this toy, but you could not pay for it unless he lets go of it for a moment so that you can take it to the cashier. You tell him to trust you that the toy will return to him if he will let go of it for a minute… so you can pay for it.

How does it feel to be not trusted? How does it feel to know that you are so sure that if only the person would believe in you, he would be so thrilled later. How does it feel when someone just could not deal with the fact that you love him too much to lie to him. If only he would grasp how much you want to give him what he wants, it would be so much easier for him. But that is not always the case right?

Have you ever talked to a child and finally be able to convince him without using reverse psychology or deception? Have you ever convinced someone to believe you by sheer trust in your love for him? How does it feel to be trusted? How does it feel when ones love is finally grasped and understood?

Have you ever felt like such a big shot to your kid or one of your nieces or nephews? Have you ever been expected by them to give them the whole Toy Kingdom for Christmas to the point of feeling pressured that you have to comply?

Many times, when I ask God about the prayers I have that have not yet been answered, I feel Him saying to me, I desire to see how confident you are in Me. Do you know how much I love you? And do you know that it is to the point that no good thing will I withhold?

Show me your faith and I’ll show you my glory.

The more I trust God in the absence of proof, the more I feel His pleasure. It is as though this God whom I cannot see, for a moment would feel that He had been glimpsed upon, every time we say that we do believe with all of our hearts that He will give us what’s best. Those moments when we so trust Him even without proof, are moments of truth when we have peeked into His heart. Seeing His love, we find ourselves saying, my God how could I ever doubt you?!

Is this not the essence of our relationship with Him? To know His heart so intimately, that trusting becomes instinct? Faith is but the fruit of our love. And waiting is not some hope to speed up the ticking of the clock but is an autumn stroll with your beloved while holding each others hand. And you might notice that with this picture, the thing we are waiting for has blurred in the background already, compared to the pleasure of just knowing the Person we have placed our faith on.

Perhaps, restlessness for answers is a symptom of our failure to desire the one thing that matters. Perhaps… perhaps… the answers will come when we have discovered that only God can satisfy. Otherwise, the answers will leave us empty-handed. Because outside the fulfillment of being fully known and loved by God, there really is no fulfillment at all. As King Solomon would say, “Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless…”

but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. NIV
but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. NLT
Psalm 73:26


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