Abraham’s faith, I think, is an awesome thing. But for Sarah, the promise — although spoken by God Himself, the un-created of the universe — could not but cause her to laugh silently, literally questioning the possibility of God’s promise being fulfilled and at the same time knowing that she cannot blatantly confess her doubt because she would be showing disrespect to the Almighty God.
So she laughed silently to herself and said, “How could a worn-out woman like me enjoy such pleasure, especially when my master — my husband– is also so old?” – Genesis 18:12, NLT
Many times we are like this, we think we understand that God is God, that He is Yahweh, that all things are possible with Him. We think we understand. But beneath our breathe, we are laughing silently or even unconsciously. We have the appearance of faith but inwardly we are losing our grip on God-dependence.
Sarah was afraid, so she denied it, saying, “I didn’t laugh.”
But the Lord said, “No, you did laugh.” – Genesis 18:14b, NLT
But take heart, God did not give up on Sarah! For exactly a year after she laughed, she laughed again. This time, an inward shift had changed the laughter that flows from her belly because after more than a decade of waiting, God had finally given her the promised son.
“God has brought me laughter. All who hear about this will laugh with me.” Genesis 21:6
This is Sarah saying, how could I have doubted God? Who would have thought this were possible? But God is God and I now understand that He is able. Until now, I did not understand. But by His grace, I see that He does love me enough to cause this miracle in my life.
But how much better it would be if we would just choose to have faith like Abraham? I am reminded of Jesus’ words to Thomas, “blessed are those who have not seen but believed” and the Bible’s words about Abraham, “Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith.” (Genesis 15:6)
Because as Jason Upton’s song puts it, “When the time comes, I will be the one asking why… Why did I ever doubt You?” (When the Time Comes)