It’s starting to happen again. Months ago, Tommi Femrite shared at our church about God supplying our needs and some of the needs that we have are encouragement, support, ahm what else… I forgot the others. I remembered support because that was what I asked God for. I went to the altar call and Tommi prayed for me that I would get that support that I need. And God did supplied it through a person/ministry partner. Now I feel like I’m in a similar place, but the burden is different. It’s unlike anything I’ve received before.
Right now, my heart is heavy to the point of breaking apart. I know I need more time than ever in the prayer room. (And this is a crazy declaration because I have been spending more time than ever in the prayer room.) To think that I still need more time, is very humbling to confess.
This morning, I just wanted to soak in God’s presence but He just led me to intercede and I felt the heaviness of the burdens of His heart, the greatness of His dreams, and the striking smallness of my heart in comparison to what is overflowing with excitement and hope in God’s… In an prayer-filled way (if there’s such a thing), my heart was breaking at the seams.
The hardest part is that, I don’t know who to tell it to. I have tried sharing my burdens before, often only to find myself giving away my “pearls to pigs.” (I am not using this figure of speech to ridicule the people I shared my burden with but this is an imagery used by the Bible and it speaks about wisdom in choosing people to speak God’s words to.)
I am pleading to God for support. I am asking for wisdom who to speak with, what to say and how to say it. I am asking for divine connections, kindred spirits, and fearless ministry partners. And I am learning to streamline my words and the people I speak them to. I am craving for encouragement and support but until these come, I know I must wait on the Lord.