What can I do with you, Ephraim? What can I do with you, Judah? Your love is like the morning mist, like the early dew that disappears. Hosea 6:4
Days ago, I was on the keyboard “trying” to sing God a love song days ago. I was hungry for his cleansing. I wanted to repent until I am washed clean. I was frustrated with myself. I have always wanted to LOVE Him but my heart always wanders. It was not like I backslid or disobeyed God big time. But with my heart having been gradually exposed, I realized that though I have kept on loving God, my heart has lost a tenderness and nearness to His presence that it used to have. It took some time before I came to admit that this simply was terrible. So there I was, ‘trying’ to find my way back… through a song.
God was there. My heart was sincere. And God and I both knew this. But there was a lump in my throat, a hardness in my chest that I could not understand. I hated how I had been so naive to my ‘wandering.’ How could I have lost that “warmth” and “tenderness” without realizing it? How come it took me this long to figure things out? I did not want this to happen again so I was telling God, “Change me. Purify my heart. Give me a heart that is whole, undivided, steadfast.” I dreaded the thought of this ever happening again so I pleaded with God to cause a shift in my heart that would finally make me FAITHFUL to Him to the end. I waited for Him to respond. I waited for an assurance that would say “Yes, Riza, from this day I am causing that shift and you will no longer wander away…” I waited but it never came…
Instead, I heard God speak these words, “What does it matter that your love changes? What does it matter if you love is weak? I am not worried about you failing again. The only thing that matters is that my LOVE DOES NOT change nor fail.”
There goes my shift. Not as I expected, but just as God intended.
“…no one will take her out of my hands.” Hosea 2:10
“There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the days she came up out of Egypt.” Hosea 2:15