(note: it’s an ultra long blog i know. but to those who will dare read it, please do not be misled by the cheesy intro. do finish this entry before dismissing or judging it. and please do not quote me out of context. thank you very much and happy blessed 2010!)
/One Great Love
Is there such a thing? For as long as I can remember, I have dreamt of finding mine. Someone whose eyes I can look into without saying a thing and yet find myself fully known. Fully understood. Wholly accepted. Made whole.
(I now find myself smiling as I write these words.)
Is there such a “one” for me that was made in heaven, crafted by the hands of the Divine, and soon to be carried to my doorstep by angels blushing in excitement? Alright alright… maybe that sounds like a bit too fantastic. But for ‘hopeful romantics’ like some of us, we do perceive that our love-story-to-be will be nothing less than serendipitous and heaven-crafted. God sent.God must be preparing him right now, not religiously but with loving extravagance. And oh! The details must be like the details of a key, precisely match-made to unlock my heart! Hahaha! Okay okay, cheesiness ends here. I am an artist at heart and I have an artist’s moody and emotional temperament. It is not difficult for me to imagine superfluous scenarios. I have my ‘own world’ at times. A world that (I sometimes think) only I can understand. I look sane from the outside, but I am crazy in the inside. And there were those years in my life that were spent thinking that a “match made in heaven” will complete my profound view of life. (Gee…I wanna strangle myself right now.)
Then there were those years after I have surrendered my mind to Jesus for him to renew it with the washing of His word. But the heart has to catch up with the mind and as my emotions struggled against the truths about love life, God’s will, and emotional wholeness, I learned to lean on God’s grace that kept me sane through a season of purging.
So what does the Bible say about falling in love? Why did I struggle and why did I need so much grace? Did it paint LOVE to be less that what we hoped it would be? Did it say that we need to love Jesus first before Jesus gives us someone to love? Does the Word of God dampen our hopes and dreams? By far, NO! In fact, it takes us deeper to depths we have not fathomed or imagined were reachable. The unbelievable things that had been done “in the name of love”! It thrusts us into a realm of LOVE than confirms the VALIDITY of each and every LONGING, DESIRE, EMOTION, HUNGER, PAIN, DESPERATION, LONELINESS, EXCITEMENT, CRAZINESS that has touched our romantic heart.
But why struggle? It was because what I knew about LOVE (which I already perceived to be so deep and profound) pales compared to the TRUTH and REALITY of what love truly IS as the Bible depicts it. And in order for me to grasp and GAIN this new revelation and this astonishing gift that my JESUS offers, I had to lay down, surrender, my once AMAZING concept that turned out to be foolish and shallow, in order to gain the REAL THING.
I have waited for God to SATISFY my longings to be known, to be seen as beautiful, to be loved wholly and unconditionally… i waited for him to fulfill it by giving me “the one,” my “God’s best.” And along the way, I have learned to surrender my own concepts and expectations. But after I surrendered, I found myself NOT LOSING my joy, but finding TRUE LOVE. Along the way, I found the God of my life — the one who formed and created that vacuum in my heart — pouring forth wine that satisfies, even to depths I never thought I would be satisfied, even to heights I never imagined I would reach.
The bride in Psalm 45 calls him the most beautiful of men, the most excellent of them all, and he is not only beautiful in personality, graceful in speech, but his heart is beautiful and his arm executes justice. He is both gentle and strong and majestic. He is the embodiment of everything that is good, that is lovely, that is adorable, that would melt a woman’s heart, that would satisfy not just the longing to be loved or be caressed or be accepted, but his warrior heart and will satisfy our need to be protected and secured for his justice and mercy mingles and yet his eyes gently alight with such adoration for ME, his bride. Who could compare with such a MAN and such a LOVE? (Read the Song of Songs – in other words, the most beautiful of all songs.)
Many of us have reflected on that song (of Songs) while thinking of finding an earthly lover. Yes, it may also be used for that. But first and foremost, it is about the love of Jesus. And without a GREAT revelation of that LOVE and satisfaction from that love, we will never find satisfaction from the love of an earthly mate. And this is simply because we were FORMED and MADE to be loved by God. Our heart’s desire is HIM. Whether you have realized it yet or NOW, your satisfaction and peace rest in your FINALLY FINDING HIM, Jesus, the GREATEST Lover of you soul. If we do find someone on earth to love and yet have not yet found SATISFACTION in God, our longing will continue and it will NEVER be satisfied UNTIL we go back to the author of that longing, for only in HIM can it be satisfied. (And oh yeah, the idea that a man will satisfy these desires is a big LIE that the enemy uses to sidetrack us from finding fulfillment in God.)
Some of us may say, yes I have already found that joy in the love of my Jesus, can I proceed to the earthly lover now? If there is still that sense of need and desperation for a man (or woman) to fill an empty space in you heart, Beloved, do not cheat yourself of TRUE LOVE! You will only get disappointed if you search for that fulfillment from a person other than God. It will never come. Yes, there might be momentary bliss, but it will also expire soon.
But run to your Lover. The one who has been waiting for you for such a long time. He will not hold back his affections for you (like those men we know do *wink*). You will discover that His love SATISFIES. He has written a saga of your love encounter unto your wedding day. Haha! He will make you fall over and over in love with Him if you will let Him. Read your story and know how crazy He is about you. And ask Him about it. Do not shun Him away. Please do not set Him aside. At that moment, I promise you, you will find that all these time, He is really that ONE GREAT LOVE that you have dreamed, waited, longed, and cried for.
My Lover is mine and I am His. I have found the One who satisfies. I have found my One Great Love! 🙂