This is one of our most-liked experiences in our relate-tionships. It happens when something that had happened to us happens to another person. We watch that person respond, or talk about how it happened. He need not go down to the tiniest detail, we get it already, completely, with heart pounding, and emotions swelling, as we say the words, “i can relate!”
I can’t relate.
This feels terrible at times. It happens when our close friends tell us about something we had never experienced. We watch his face shift from calm to ecstasy to melancholy to anxiety and back to joy and peace. We stare at him and try to absorb the ‘vibes.’ But nada. We just can’t relate. Some things cannot be forced. After he has finished his monologue, we are still staring at him, face blank.
I’m trying to relate.
The more we know the person, this ‘trying to relate’ becomes easier. Even things we had never experienced, we begin to experience through another person. Things we do not really care about, we begin to have a burden for, simply because the one we love cares about it. We begin to go out of our little selfish world and we discover that the world does not revolve around us. And we realize, it does not really take two people who are the same in order to make them one.