thursday morning, missing him badly

reposted frtom friendster blog. first posted 2006

i saw your movie… i know the actor hardly looked like you, or sounded like you. but he really did a great job. he made me miss you more.

you left me with letters, stories, and words you said – to show me how it all should go about (in your Kingdom) – principles you had for living a full life.

and you were always awesome in choosing what to say to those who hate you, those who love you and those who are desperate for God. i never knew though how deep your voice sounded – at least physically – because i never heard you audibly. but i’m sure, whenever you speak, you always sounded real, perhaps even more real than these tears on my cheeks.

but i don’t even know what you loved to eat, or how you called your mom. but i simply, almost shallowly knew that you always cared, you cared too much that you had to die.

you died thinking of me. and i am eternally indebted, grateful, and blessed.

…and i’m thinking… (and this is an embarassing confession, that) you would have left a video had it been possible. but i guess you really wanted also to be missed…

i keep saying “I love you too…”

you keep saying that you know me real well. you know the number of strands of hair i’ve got.

you know me so well, but i don’t even know how your hand felt.

i would count the strands of your hair if i had the chance.


i wanna know you   so much it hurts


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